Behavior & Social

My Baby Pulls Their Own Hair

The short answer

Hair pulling in babies and toddlers is usually a self-soothing behavior, similar to thumb-sucking or using a pacifier. Most children pull their hair when tired, nursing, or falling asleep, and it is rarely a sign of a problem. The behavior typically peaks between ages 1-2 and fades as children develop other coping strategies.

By Age

What to expect by age

Babies often discover their hair around this age and may pull or twirl it as a form of sensory exploration or self-soothing. Hair pulling commonly happens during feeding (especially breastfeeding), when falling asleep, or when your baby is tired or overstimulated. Most babies are gentle, but some pull hard enough to remove strands or create small bald patches.

Hair pulling often intensifies during this period as your toddler relies on it more deliberately for comfort. You might notice consistent patterns - pulling only at bedtime, only when holding a lovey, or only on one side of the head. The behavior is almost always self-soothing rather than self-harming. Creating noticeable bald spots is not uncommon and the hair will regrow once the behavior stops.

Many children continue to pull or twirl their hair as a comfort habit, especially during transitions, stress, or when tired. As language and emotional regulation improve, the behavior often decreases. If your child is pulling hair very frequently, creating multiple bald spots, or seems to be doing it in response to anxiety, gently redirecting to another soothing behavior (like a soft blanket or stuffed animal) can help.

Most children naturally outgrow hair pulling by preschool age. If the behavior persists past age 3-4, becomes more intense, or your child seems unable to stop even when they want to, it may be worth discussing with your pediatrician. True trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling disorder) is rare before school age but can develop in older children.

What Should You Do?

When to take action

Probably normal when...
  • Your baby pulls or twirls their hair in specific contexts - when tired, nursing, or self-soothing
  • The behavior is gentle or moderate; your child is not pulling so hard that they cry out in pain
  • Your child has one or two small bald patches but seems unbothered by them
  • Hair pulling is part of a bedtime or feeding routine and appears to be comforting
  • The behavior comes and goes in phases rather than being constant all day
Mention at your next visit when...
  • Your child has multiple or large bald patches from pulling, or the hair loss is significant
  • Hair pulling seems to be triggered by anxiety, frustration, or stress rather than just sleepiness or comfort
  • The behavior is persisting or intensifying past age 3-4
  • Your child seems distressed by the behavior but cannot stop, or the pulling appears compulsive
Act now when...
  • Your child is pulling hair so hard that they are hurting themselves (crying, bleeding, or creating sores on the scalp)
  • Hair pulling is accompanied by other self-harming behaviors like head banging, biting, or scratching
  • You notice a sudden and dramatic increase in hair pulling that coincides with other behavioral changes or developmental regression

Sources

My Toddler Is Aggressive Toward Pets

Toddlers being rough with pets is extremely common and almost never reflects true aggression or cruelty. Young children lack the motor control to be consistently gentle and do not yet understand that animals feel pain the way they do. With patient, consistent teaching about gentle touch and close supervision, most toddlers learn to interact safely with pets by age 3-4.

My Baby Doesn't Seem Attached to Anyone

By 7-9 months, most babies show clear preferences for their primary caregivers and some wariness of unfamiliar people. If your baby seems equally comfortable with everyone and shows no distress when separated from caregivers, it may simply reflect an easy-going temperament. However, if combined with other social differences, it can occasionally warrant further discussion with your pediatrician.

My Baby Arches Their Back

Back arching is very common in babies and usually a normal way of expressing frustration, discomfort, or just stretching and moving. Most babies arch their backs when upset, tired, or trying to see something. However, persistent arching with crying, especially during feeding, can be a sign of reflux or discomfort that should be discussed with your pediatrician.

My Baby Grinds Their Teeth

Teeth grinding (bruxism) is surprisingly common in babies and toddlers, affecting up to 30% of young children. Most children grind their teeth as they explore their new teeth or self-soothe, and the vast majority outgrow it completely by age 6 with no lasting damage to their teeth.

Baby Not Playing Independently

Needing a lot of parental interaction during play is completely normal for babies and young toddlers. Independent play is a skill that develops gradually, and expecting too much too soon can backfire. Most babies under 12 months genuinely need your presence to feel safe enough to explore. By 18-24 months, short stretches of independent play (5-15 minutes) begin to emerge, gradually lengthening through the toddler years. Your child is not spoiled or overly dependent - they are doing exactly what developing brains are designed to do.

My Baby Only Wants One Parent

Parent preference is one of the most common and emotionally painful behaviors in babies and toddlers. It is a completely normal part of attachment development and is not a reflection of who is the "better" parent. Babies and toddlers typically cycle through phases of preferring one parent, and the "rejected" parent's consistent, loving presence during these phases actually strengthens their bond over time.